Comment: i don't see why they insist on reality-television recaps. wait, shit, are these people running for president?

Comment: no, i think the wedding has been wonderful so far, i just wish you hadn't put your roller-girl name on the cake.

Comment: good morning. is it a little cold and weird out today, or is that just you?

Comment: but then what? a fleeting joy in the deep, dark sea of existence? i'd rather not.

Comment: i hate this too, but after an hour of this bullshit we'll think sitting inside is way less boring.

Comment: slot cars! not even dad can make them work! they won't stay on the track at all!

Comment: he didn't mean to open his car door into yours. don't be that guy.

Comment: this existence, all of its billions of people clawing for a moment of true happiness, is temporary. pass it on.

Comment: you think your old man's behind the times? get up here on the laserdisc with me and we'll dance the dubstep all night.

Comment: jesus, hanging out with you guys is always like the first ten minutes of an afterschool special.

Comment: i didn't break your keyboard, i circuit-bent it. it's worth a lot more now.

Comment: chief to base, i am at the haunted house. it is definitely spooky. over.

Comment: the world is a wondrous place! wait, did i say "wondrous?" i meant "completely fucked."

Comment: here's what you missed last week on breaking bad.